what can i do

I heard many ur news...
i really seem give up already...
time pass so slow
but i still wanna face it..
I promise to myself,
i will forget all how u hurt me...
& i won say ur bad things behind you...

Last time i say i love you to u...
a very last time...
i think i can forget you...
i can do it...

school...

I can't wake up in morning..
my head so pain...
maybe is yesterday drink too much,...
i keep my feeling.,..
then having some nap at my class..

my head was so so pain...
today..
teacher say about the topik that i am intested...
that depression...
i very scare i will get that sickness...
cause many of the reason and the effect i get it...
such as cannot sleep,will think a lot,but won share out...
haiz...
the effect of the sickness is will in mention center or will commit suicide suddenly...
i very scare,...
but i think i won...~
i want be strong...

i am so in stress..
anyone understand that?
i am so xinku...
just can drunk myself...
haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

agh~!

This feeling come back again...
he give me a call when i was having dinner with my boss them...
i can't say what cause many people beside me...
=X

So...
i just can say some...
He call me by so suddenly..
i shocked...
but i am so happy...~
Why m i still happy?
i should give up...

After eat i give him a msg,
ask that anythings?
he say...
he just wanna ask me whether i m fine or not,
he is worry about me...
....................
i am happy but i sad & feel hurt more...
why don't he just leave me alone?
Suddenly i feel that i am so childish...
Why don't me just let myself freedom?


Just beer can help me sleep...
@@
start that kind of life...
i getting fat...

haizya

Today i saw him at indoor...
at first he ask me got go indoor or not,
i say maybe cause i want find my brother...
then after that...
after i work i go for find my bro,
i msg back him..
tell her whether i am in indoor now..
then he ask me whther want meet or not...

i want to see him,
but i don't want he see me....
cause i am not really okay now...
My stomach so pain & something shock me...
I go inside indoor for a while...
then when i recieve my bro fon,
wake up want go out...
i see nothing but my eye was open...
t_____t
This really scare me...
I am so scare now...

& after a few second it become normal..
i say want meet he don't want anymore...
he was with his friends...
=X
sad...but what i can do?
i think so long whether want meet him or not;...
but when i decide...
he don't want anymore...


BUt before i go home,
i go front door there...
i saw him...
but i act not see him...
then i go away...
go the wrong way...
my brother just bhind me...=.=
then go back with him...
i see that he is looking at me...
my stomach so pain...
but i still acting normal...
@@

Then he msg me start cold again...
i am sorry to my body...
i use beer drunk myself again...
i can't sleep...
2moro gt work...
i need drunk myself...
smoke is nice?
why many people moody want to smoke?
i feel want to try...
but can i?

I though he will ask me to don't give up...
but he don't...

he ask me to give up...
..................................................


nothing i can say...
i just can accept what he say....
cause i want he blissful...

=X

Yesterday night i was so happy...
that is the day that he ask me for a call..
guess what?
he want to call me...
but at night d...
he whole day so busy...
but at night we got talk ler...
=)HAPPYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

He say talk for fun lo...
but i still scare he too tired...
so ask whether he is tired or not...
if he is...
i can let him just go sleep i am ok with that d...
at least he dn tired dao...

We talk a lot owh...
So long no talk already...
happy...
even that just friends talk ...
but i still very very happy...
thanks !


Today i very moodness ler...
haiz..~
can someone can share secret with me?
who can?
please..i need a listener...
for sure=l
This is my sad side...
but i already post that post at my blog already...
i want to calm down...
time again...
Haiz...Why my time pass so slow?

Kong...
sorry today i say u...
i tell u already...
Stop say about him...
cause you already say pass though my limit...
i know u 3 saw my tears drop already...
first time right?
i don't hope too...
but... when i say STOP please stop it...
if can continue i won stop you...
so...
don't talk about that again...
everything is over...**

lolz

I don't know what i can say...
open school soon...
i very very moodness...
haiz...
its this the time i need to let go?
No...
i can't...
T______T

I miss everything that with you...
Why time pass so slow?
haiz...
Someone save me...

This few day ahYong keep call me...
tell me about he like me...
so?
I love him still..
do u understand?
I don't feel want get any relationship with other...
Or i just decide to stay alone...
We should learn how to be ''berdikari''
=.=

Haiz...
i am so tired now...
when i can rest?
I just want gaming gaming gaming now~!



miss youuuuuu